Welcome! Make yourself at home.
Hi friend – I hope you will come alongside me as I try to build a rich and wholesome life for myself and my family.
Our family’s lifestyle has been what I think is very typical in our modern American culture. I have always worked multiple jobs, and our calendar is always full to bursting. Our diet isn’t great because we “need” what is convenient. We consume a lot of media. In theory, we want to take good care of ourselves – but most days disappear before we manage to get around to even thinking about it. And, like so many mothers, for a long time I really did think I couldn’t afford the time to take care of myself when everything and everyone else needed my attention.
I neglected my health for many years and refused to acknowledge that I would face any consequences for it. I was overweight and had next to no energy. In 2020 I needed to have back surgery after an old injury worsened, and I spent several weeks of that year unable to move and care for my 5 and 2 year old or go to work. I felt absolutely crippled by discouragement. I was letting everyone down. Postpartum depression and anxiety paralyzed me, and I genuinely thought I was a terrible mother. Everyone was doing a better job than I was, and it was my fault. And now I couldn’t even pick up my baby when she wanted her mommy.
I want the best for my kids – I think we all do. After researching different educational philosophies as we prepared to homeschool my oldest, I was convinced that a connection to nature and the outdoors was crucial to a healthy childhood. But since we live in a suburban apartment, taking them outside is an event. This girl ain’t got time for that. I began dreaming of a “someday homestead” where we would have gardens and lots of room for the kids to run around in their bare feet and experience the wonders of nature. Complete with unicorns and rainbows and sunshiney days for the rest of our lives. And no dirt on my floor, I’m sure.
I spent a lot of time focusing on a future I had decided we needed. I was feeding discontent and even bitterness and missing out on life. My hope for my kids having a wonderful childhood rested in our circumstances – and that is a dangerous lie. What my kids need far more than a big backyard is a healthy mom, and they didn’t have one. My mental and emotional life were as unhealthy as my physical habits. After a successful surgery, I decided that I wanted to do everything in my limited power to protect my ability to live well and give my kids what they needed most – a healthy and present mommy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still really want a homestead someday. Really, really really. A lot. But that desire is now filled with hope instead of pain. And behind that hope is the knowledge that there is a path to joy and richness without it. I have worked diligently to improve my physical health, and even as I continue to do that I have decided that I will protect my mental health by pursuing a simpler, old-fashioned homesteading lifestyle right here where I am. Lord willing, it will prepare me not only to run a homestead someday, but it will help me practice stillness, discipline, intention, and a return to the humble joys that pervade our most mundane days.
I hope that my own journey toward a homestead and a healthier lifestyle for all my family will encourage especially those of you who have been your own worst enemies. I hope you’ll join me so we can learn together to keep taking small steps toward the life we want, even when our spirits are discouraged.
I pray that my family will one day find our way to our own piece of this earth while my kids still want to run around barefoot. But even if we don’t, I know our lives will be full of joy, learning, patience, and hope on the journey.